tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281168655606466402024-03-14T09:43:16.565-07:00Shit My Kid SaysColin is my kid. He's nearly seven now. He says some pretty funny shit.KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.comBlogger204125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-56702848819555950162012-10-21T22:33:00.000-07:002012-10-21T22:33:00.064-07:00Rock Star<span class="userContent">Trying to get the kid to change into clean clothes...<br /> <br /> "Mom do you know what? Rock stars are meant to wear dirty clothes."<br /> "Why?"<br /> "Because I just figured out that actually, in real life, rock stars are meant to be dirty."<br /> "Why? "<br /> "Because it makes them look like rock stars!"<br /> "That's funny. I think you're right. How did you figure that out?"<br />
"From my mind! Cuz Mom, think about it. Imagine a boy rock star with
crazy hair on and wearing dirty clothes. He would look weird if he had
clean clothes. He would look just like a normal guy that forgot to brush
his hair."</span>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-9188915506808816962012-10-10T22:35:00.000-07:002012-10-21T22:35:49.043-07:00I mean, really short.<span class="userContent">"Mom, you wanna hear a really short story?"<br /> "Sure"<br /> "Once upon a time a zebra. The end."</span>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-63173308825626445582012-09-29T22:36:00.000-07:002012-10-21T22:37:00.139-07:00I'm so proud!<span class="userContent">Last night the kid was looking at a toy he
wanted, turned to me and said, "Mom, we could probably find this cheaper
online." Proud moment... I've taught him well!! ha!</span>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-79903182247727037222012-09-21T22:37:00.000-07:002012-10-21T22:37:42.602-07:00Dear Tooth Fairy<span class="userContent">"Dear Tooth Fairy, I didn't even notice but
I'm pretty sure I left my tooth at Chuck E. Cheese. I don't know where
it is. Can I still have some money? Love, Colin."</span>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-65027247226863980062012-09-14T22:38:00.000-07:002012-10-21T22:38:32.500-07:00Just thinking out loud here...<span class="userContent">"So I'm just thinking out loud here...but can we get some ice cream this weekend?"</span>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-71274689609780715222012-03-12T22:13:00.001-07:002012-03-12T22:15:05.822-07:00If you wanna be smart...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2IfkyLocjrXTUeUcZFaV7YBkwiLqXkiOWvwnfdxkfQnwaOkMwHUk3XpeUg7KxQOJtwbGgfoo6dMcMj-Jqko-VjdGtwi2p3clK3nQ5PVAROSH1OJpH7kFLZGgtHIDQjSwUGTNyHeO_91WM/s1600/if+you+wanna+be+smart.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2IfkyLocjrXTUeUcZFaV7YBkwiLqXkiOWvwnfdxkfQnwaOkMwHUk3XpeUg7KxQOJtwbGgfoo6dMcMj-Jqko-VjdGtwi2p3clK3nQ5PVAROSH1OJpH7kFLZGgtHIDQjSwUGTNyHeO_91WM/s320/if+you+wanna+be+smart.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Playing school:<br />
"Okay now I'm da teacher. If you wanna be smart just relax your brain, take it out of your head and frow it on da ground."</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-60228088315337175612012-03-12T22:00:00.002-07:002012-03-12T22:00:50.394-07:00Huh? Wha?<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">"Mom, did you know dat I hate sleeping in my room?"<br />
"No! I didn't."<br />
"Do you wanna know why?"<br />
"Yes."<br />
"Because when I wake up, I'm like...'huh? wha?! I live by myself an' I'm just a kid?!"</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-65727205752368815572012-03-11T22:01:00.003-07:002012-03-12T22:06:13.293-07:00Claire de Lune at bedtime...<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU6SS4uXf4Gbe_VVilvwHs1ajBqX76yW54uqgBDZ-36iB5kecMenJZG6vafBhJFgDhw38juOoz9WVw5NoiA3wPrX9BhK0WUDIrCvfeOfCYD1hPc902OsaCZY25scyinF1Ycx_V6zBxUs0G/s1600/full+moon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU6SS4uXf4Gbe_VVilvwHs1ajBqX76yW54uqgBDZ-36iB5kecMenJZG6vafBhJFgDhw38juOoz9WVw5NoiA3wPrX9BhK0WUDIrCvfeOfCYD1hPc902OsaCZY25scyinF1Ycx_V6zBxUs0G/s200/full+moon.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><br />
"Mom, I can understand dat music." <br />
"You can? What do you understand ?" <br />
"Just... well... one part was like about wishing on stars. It's like I can remember it."</span></span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvFH_6DNRCY">Claire de Lune</a></span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-27703183511110057982011-09-21T22:30:00.000-07:002011-09-21T22:31:55.109-07:00Mars: The Real Deal<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">The kid woke up like a shot at 7am:</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Mom!!"<br />"What do u need, honey?"<br />"Mom, in space, Mars is so far away from da sun. So Mars is so cold. So only Canadians could go dere. But Mars doesn't have any air. So only aliens could live dere."<br /><br />Canadian aliens, I'm guessing.</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-57334214836593054242011-09-18T22:27:00.000-07:002011-09-21T22:34:20.120-07:00The North Matrix<div style="text-align: center;"><h6 style="font-weight: normal; text-align: left;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Mom, do you know how Santa Claus controls people?"<br />"How?"<br />"Wif his magic. Mom, don't you not want Santa Claus to control you?"<br />"No, I don't."<br />"Okay. So, say 'Dere's no way Santa Claus would control me."<br />"There's no way Santa Claus would control me."<br />"Haha. Mom! Santa Claus just controlled you to say dat!"</span></span></h6><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0BTdFXcjx5_XcE8rWbXBU1dKo2SOAsHISJ4hptE8eQhusZLxu8pRj_lrlN_wAuuunXko5AdWixLRp_UmvHJ5JU0zMImDpTqtgBzBs0kyGD7RUWILgnMU5I7tVCjUi01PhXHCI7PYqLNi_/s1600/COlin+and+Santa+2010.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 287px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0BTdFXcjx5_XcE8rWbXBU1dKo2SOAsHISJ4hptE8eQhusZLxu8pRj_lrlN_wAuuunXko5AdWixLRp_UmvHJ5JU0zMImDpTqtgBzBs0kyGD7RUWILgnMU5I7tVCjUi01PhXHCI7PYqLNi_/s320/COlin+and+Santa+2010.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5655051480500113762" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Santa and the Kid circa 2010</span><br /></div>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-14711673153383811632011-09-15T23:47:00.000-07:002011-09-21T22:34:57.054-07:00My Boobs are Dumb<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">The Kid was swimming with a friend.</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">Friend: "Boobs are dumb."<br /></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">Kid: "My boobs are intelligence. They make me smart."<br /></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">Me: "I didn't know boobs made people smart. I must be really smart then, huh?"<br /></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">Kid: "Nah. Not yours, Mom."</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-20743656031632089122011-09-13T23:46:00.000-07:002011-09-16T23:47:49.186-07:00Alarm Clocks Annoy Everybody<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">I was in the kitchen when the alarm in my room went off this morning, but it managed to wake somebody else up.</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">The kid yelled, "I’m already awake, stupid machiiiiiiiiiiiiine!!!"</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-22053636078298434732011-09-10T23:46:00.000-07:002011-09-16T23:46:45.835-07:00What if?!<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"What if instead of 'phttttttth!' my butt said, 'knock, knock! And somebody else said, 'Whose there?' and I said, 'I did not say that, it was my butt!"</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-2458962703823994302011-09-08T23:45:00.000-07:002011-09-16T23:46:18.524-07:00The Anatomy of Pee<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">“Mom, want me to tell you what pee is?”<br /></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">“What?”<br /> </span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">“Pee is a kind of water that is yellow if you take vitamins, and if you don’t it’s just white. And pee is also a kind of water than when you touch it, it’s like…gross.”</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-57477971362890884022011-09-07T23:43:00.000-07:002011-09-21T22:35:31.576-07:00On the Cleansing Properties of Chocolate Milk<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Here, buddy, come and wash your hands."</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Nah, that's okay, Mom. I'm using the chocolate milk as a hand samitizer."</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-80625434251402194922011-09-04T20:26:00.000-07:002011-09-04T20:27:34.671-07:00Da Toof Fairy's First Visit<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0wPjIXM5MsKVkuJWsYLX_I6l0P9I_4ElmLDoZPaPdnsWiGOdNtQLPCM9gDkhXAAf8AXABV5V18mhOrSOvViR3zUp85kZojcvZBi1cL6HVYHHkfpV3Q6gY_naBmhsTsRC9Umg-i6SqzJLY/s1600/9.4.11+tooth+fairy+002.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0wPjIXM5MsKVkuJWsYLX_I6l0P9I_4ElmLDoZPaPdnsWiGOdNtQLPCM9gDkhXAAf8AXABV5V18mhOrSOvViR3zUp85kZojcvZBi1cL6HVYHHkfpV3Q6gY_naBmhsTsRC9Umg-i6SqzJLY/s320/9.4.11+tooth+fairy+002.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5648711976317937442" border="0" /></a>
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEabKceYr7fll9hjdY7dM2Zk4-tdIiUTFYPidj1KKaeP88z9KDuaUxvoluSXnzxCZZ8l9DPDzdoefFBgZAR5bLy2UIycGdvOLCMGYvLEIpIBD-rx6BsutERdPUPbgWn3vKA4fILA-He5uV/s1600/9.4.11+tooth+fairy+001.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 298px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEabKceYr7fll9hjdY7dM2Zk4-tdIiUTFYPidj1KKaeP88z9KDuaUxvoluSXnzxCZZ8l9DPDzdoefFBgZAR5bLy2UIycGdvOLCMGYvLEIpIBD-rx6BsutERdPUPbgWn3vKA4fILA-He5uV/s320/9.4.11+tooth+fairy+001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5648711975046608738" border="0" /></a>
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<br />KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-19877981579784203542011-09-03T09:56:00.000-07:002011-09-03T10:07:05.409-07:00Save Da Erf<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGz2b4s5miffKs3lSCDyhw_BttHZZ153_WN7qLI9FtxemPUZ5NBSJpPTM0HDx9LZ7GmPZKb05mF9gf9WskQMB69yxcxyKBFB9a2EZMnIfJRe9sn3DIOfCc1HlZjAV_uYE78dn568-e1Rp2/s1600/savedaerf.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 197px; height: 255px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGz2b4s5miffKs3lSCDyhw_BttHZZ153_WN7qLI9FtxemPUZ5NBSJpPTM0HDx9LZ7GmPZKb05mF9gf9WskQMB69yxcxyKBFB9a2EZMnIfJRe9sn3DIOfCc1HlZjAV_uYE78dn568-e1Rp2/s400/savedaerf.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5648180744126596146" border="0" /></a>
<br /><h6 style="font-weight: normal; text-align: left;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Mom, you wanna know how to protect da erf?"</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal; text-align: left;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Sure!"
<br /> </span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal; text-align: left;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"One, don't use too much paper. Two, don't fro trash on da floor. Five, just water da plants, don't kill dem. And seven, just be yerselfs. Dats all da ways. And you better tell all your friends how ta take care of da erf."</span></span></h6>
<br /></div>
<br />KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-36064825136600857602011-08-28T12:25:00.000-07:002011-08-28T12:27:17.132-07:00Smarty Pants<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">This just in from the Kid's dad:
<br />
<br />"Dad, I know everything."
<br /></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">Oh, is that right?"
<br /></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Yes! And Mom knows I know everything."
<br /><span class="text_exposed_show"></span></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}"><span class="text_exposed_show">"Wow. I guess she must know everything too then."
<br /></span></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}"><span class="text_exposed_show">"Nope. She just knows about cars and fixing things."</span></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}"><span class="text_exposed_show">He thought about that while gazing out the window for a minute.</span></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}"><span class="text_exposed_show">"Actually she doesn't know about that stuff either."</span></span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-48829855856692372212011-08-18T21:25:00.000-07:002011-08-18T21:29:07.938-07:00The washing machine is my hero, too.<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4AWNsRe107Eu0RAM8XROGYT21aGpOAHVGJTfW7AZEJKC_awzsGvQWDKQGTXi4N94N-I_gMtuCEGYM-xP7XG405JhdbfveaO9FePGfSfsAa1TOq95rj7Tq2LpLfSO8i934CCRIbqQRwNXk/s1600/washingmachine.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 155px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4AWNsRe107Eu0RAM8XROGYT21aGpOAHVGJTfW7AZEJKC_awzsGvQWDKQGTXi4N94N-I_gMtuCEGYM-xP7XG405JhdbfveaO9FePGfSfsAa1TOq95rj7Tq2LpLfSO8i934CCRIbqQRwNXk/s200/washingmachine.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642419069095407762" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8FZHV4dTtx3jz1ue_hUCFrdu34HMZXUh8mUOf0FP7-tGqEry9BtoF28nZmMcD6GkZ50y6Hc5FWtelg9liZJEDetM9DSlx4QCDzhtL6niAUCKOztOBxrm9ulVUBa2HOlsWDKcErmiXF0I8/s1600/capamerica.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 108px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8FZHV4dTtx3jz1ue_hUCFrdu34HMZXUh8mUOf0FP7-tGqEry9BtoF28nZmMcD6GkZ50y6Hc5FWtelg9liZJEDetM9DSlx4QCDzhtL6niAUCKOztOBxrm9ulVUBa2HOlsWDKcErmiXF0I8/s200/capamerica.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5642419068033777394" border="0" /></a>
<br /></div><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Mom! Let's play Captain-in-America versus Evil Jaguar Face Head!"</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Okay. I want to be the bad guy."</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Yeah! You are! And da winner is....Captain-in-America!!! Now Let's play Evil Gorilla versus Washing Machine! I'm the washing machine. You try to take all my clothes!"</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Okay."</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"And da winner is...Washing Machine!"</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-44387186126483385822011-08-13T22:06:00.000-07:002011-08-13T22:09:39.317-07:00How To Upstage Your Mom<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">I was on the phone planning a date.</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Mom, I want to talk to him."</span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Sure"
<br /></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">The kid took the phone.
<br /></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Hi. Do you fink you wanna marry to my mom? .... Because I want you to get my mom a baby. Oh. Okay. Bye."
<br />
<br />OMG.</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-13425142343352732022011-08-12T22:00:00.000-07:002011-08-13T22:06:31.601-07:00Sweet Dreams<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Goodnight, sweetie. I love you."
<br />"Mom, you know when I'm sleeping?"
<br />"Yeah?"
<br />"And my blanket falls off me?"
<br />"Yeah?"
<br /><span class="text_exposed_hide"></span><span class="text_exposed_show">"And you come and put it back on me?"
<br />"Yeah?"
<br />(Sleepy smiles from the kid.)
<br />"Yeah."</span></span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-33604967044886618512011-08-11T22:18:00.000-07:002011-08-12T23:44:31.681-07:00Huinnn-Hunngggg?<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxQWTUO_v_bfaVWPJaMPX5T-Nv2X6ON7sZHymS_3IUmAaVgzvx2k8-SMfEdNu0GRChNWj4hmW6cgIPew6h8' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">It's all the rage, kids! Talk without opening your mouth or moving your lips! Amaze and perplex your parents! </span>
<br />
<br />I never did figure out what he was trying to say.
<br />KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-84390921659167757452010-12-01T22:46:00.000-08:002011-08-18T23:52:45.350-07:00Potentially Useful Information<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">At dinner during which there was no talk of either trains or tigers:
<br /></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Water trains and water tigers can swim. Water trains have wheels that go around like this (motions with arms) and it makes them swim. But water tigers just use their feet."</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-16979260438891377312010-11-30T23:41:00.000-08:002011-08-18T23:53:04.770-07:00Anybody Got an Extra Escalator?<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"If you had a broken elevator you would need to be like the hulk and carry an escalator in your pocket."</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-528116865560646640.post-22931140168964754052010-11-29T23:40:00.000-08:002011-08-18T23:53:29.433-07:00Dancing FIXES Freaked Out Skin, Actually.<h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">My friend's daughters were dancing.
<br /></span></span></h6><h6 style="font-weight: normal;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">"Stop that. If you do that it makes my skin freak out because... I hate that. Because it makes my skin freak out."</span></span></h6>KJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490843203917062841noreply@blogger.com0