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At dinner during which there was no talk of either trains or tigers:
"Water trains and water tigers can swim. Water trains have wheels that go around like this (motions with arms) and it makes them swim. But water tigers just use their feet."
"If you had a broken elevator you would need to be like the hulk and carry an escalator in your pocket."
My friend's daughters were dancing.
"Stop that. If you do that it makes my skin freak out because... I hate that. Because it makes my skin freak out."
The kid was playing his guitar, strumming something that actually sounded like a tune.
"Mom, do you know what that song was called?"
"No, what?"
He put down his guitar and whispered in my ear, "Don't forget me."
Watching a Batman cartoon:
"Mom. Why can't real regular people go on the ceiling? I mean on the roof? Why?"
"Well, because regular people just can't make their bodies jump that high."
"Oh."
"When I'm a Dad, maybe I'm gonna still be funny."
Colin wasn't feeling well this morning. I helped him out and we went about our day. Checking in with him later:
"How does your body feel now,
buddy?"
"Uh...Better than yours."
"Mom, do mermaids live in the ocean or in the floor?"
"Mom, how much does everybody love you?"
"I don't know, how much?"
Throws his arms wide to his sides, "This much."
"How much do I love you, Mom?"
"I don't know...how much?"
Throws his arms wide to his sides, keeps going, wraps them around his back as far as possible.
"This much."
Chastising me for walking too fast:
"Mom, if you go away from me in the dark sometimes, I'm scared. Because you know I'm just a regular kid."
"Mom, how do you say 'hasta luego' in Spanish?"
"Mom, I had-ed a dream that a bad guy was trying to shoot me in my eye, but then I got a gumball in my mouth, and then I spitted it out at him like "Phoo!" and he got dead."
The kid was smacking his ankle against a wall.
SMACK! SMACK! "Ow."
SMACK! SMACK! "Ow. That really hurts."
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Colin, why do you keep doing that if it hurts?!"
SMACK!
"Well, it didn't get my blood out."
"Kittens are cute. And moms are so awesome."
Don't Stop Believin' by Journey came on the radio. I turned it up.
"Mom. That song freaks me out."
"Want me to change it?"
"No."
"When I'm grown up and I'm in a movie, it's going to be a Stretchy-Man movie and I'm going to be Stretchy-Man!"
This text just in from today's carpool mom:
"Your son was serenading us with a guitar solo all the way to school that he titled "You Kick Ask!" - just FYI. :)"
The kid and I were sitting in the park waiting for some friends to show up when a Hispanic family walked by. "Shh! Mom, stop talking. Maybe they will think we can speak Spanish."
"What if I was a skeleton and I was brushing my teeth and my bottom teeth fell out. That would be so funny."
"Eenie Meenie Miney Mo. Datcha bida-bida bo. Datcha bida, let him go. Eenie Meenie Miney Mo."
