I Think he Means the Crackers

"What are pets, Mom?"

"Animals people have at home, like dogs, cats, goldfish..."

"Goldfish are NOT pets!"

"They're not?"

"No!!"

"Well, what are they?"

"Snacks!"

Like When I'm Six

"Give me a kiss, Colin."

"No, I don't like kissing."

"Someday you might like kissing."

"No. I don't like kissing."

"Well, someday you might want to kiss a girl."

"Well, yeah... later... when I'm grown up. Like when I'm six."

I Won't Forget, I Promise.

"Mom, is this our tent?!"

"Yep, it is!"

"Ok. But don't forget to bring our camping beds. And a towel. And my bathing suit. And some clothes for
me to wear. And a picture to put on the wall and my toys and my Spiderman costume. And food. And my blanket. Okay, Mom?"

"Well, we will bring just what we need, there's going... to be lots to do there."

"Ok, Mom, but just don't forget my clothes."

Whatever is Faster

‎"Mom, I want you to buy a big, BIG car!"

"You know, small cars go faster than big cars."

"Oh...I want you to buy a small, LITTLE car!"

The Bessest

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Your're my bessest friend of the whole world."

Said Most Sweetly and Sincerly...

"My butt farted a big, juicy fart for you. And when it came out it was a heart. A pink one--for you, Mom."

Backseat Driver

"Mom, now I need you to go norf, and then turn left. Ok? Don't turn left here, just go norf first."

Gobble Gobble

"Thanks for the gobbles, Mom! Now I can see under the water! Wif my new gobbles!"

Second-First is Almost as Good

"Mom, put my shoes on me first!"

"You'll have to either put them on yourself or wait for me to put mine on."

"Ok, put mine on second, first!"

The Chatty Babysitter

‎"How did it go with your Grandma last night, Colin?"

"I just tolded her to not talk and be quiet. She likes to talk!"

How does he know that Midas is the touch he needs?

"I'm goin' to be a Dad. And wif a girlfriend and a pool and a truck and a big, big house. And a little dog. Named Midas."

I Want One Too

"Mom, soon I want to get a new giant car that can fly, ok?"

"You mean like an airplane?"

"No. A giant car and it can fly so high somewhere, like to Canada!"

I Guess it was a Hard Quesion

"Mom, don't ask me, I'm not a grownup!!!!!"