Anybody Got an Extra Escalator?

"If you had a broken elevator you would need to be like the hulk and carry an escalator in your pocket."

Dancing FIXES Freaked Out Skin, Actually.

My friend's daughters were dancing.

"Stop that. If you do that it makes my skin freak out because... I hate that. Because it makes my skin freak out."

My New Favorite Song

The kid was playing his guitar, strumming something that actually sounded like a tune.

"Mom, do you know what that song was called?"

"No, what?"

He put down his guitar and whispered in my ear, "Don't forget me."

Hard Hitting Questions.

Watching a Batman cartoon:
"Mom. Why can't real regular people go on the ceiling? I mean on the roof? Why?"
"Well, because regular people just can't make their bodies jump that high."
"Oh."

Probably So.

"When I'm a Dad, maybe I'm gonna still be funny."

I think I just got 'dissed.

Colin wasn't feeling well this morning. I helped him out and we went about our day. Checking in with him later:

"How does your body feel now,
buddy?"

"Uh...Better than yours."

The Ocean Floor Maybe?

"Mom, do mermaids live in the ocean or in the floor?"

This Much

"Mom, how much does everybody love you?"
"I don't know, how much?"
Throws his arms wide to his sides, "This much."
"How much do I love you, Mom?"
"I don't know...how much?"
Throws his arms wide to his sides, keeps going, wraps them around his back as far as possible.
"This much."

Sometimes I forget.

Chastising me for walking too fast:

"Mom, if you go away from me in the dark sometimes, I'm scared. Because you know I'm just a regular kid."

No Habla Espanol

"Mom, how do you say 'hasta luego' in Spanish?"

Badguys Vs. Gumballs

"Mom, I had-ed a dream that a bad guy was trying to shoot me in my eye, but then I got a gumball in my mouth, and then I spitted it out at him like "Phoo!" and he got dead."

So it's okay then.

The kid was smacking his ankle against a wall.

SMACK! SMACK! "Ow."

SMACK! SMACK! "Ow. That really hurts."

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"Colin, why do you keep doing that if it hurts?!"

SMACK!

"Well, it didn't get my blood out."

Especially moms that are Kats.

"Kittens are cute. And moms are so awesome."

Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world.

Don't Stop Believin' by Journey came on the radio. I turned it up.

"Mom. That song freaks me out."

"Want me to change it?"

"No."

I wanna be in pictures...

"When I'm grown up and I'm in a movie, it's going to be a Stretchy-Man movie and I'm going to be Stretchy-Man!"

I kick it and so do you.

This text just in from today's carpool mom:

"Your son was serenading us with a guitar solo all the way to school that he titled "You Kick Ask!" - just FYI. :)"

We are not multi-lingual, but we can fool people.

The kid and I were sitting in the park waiting for some friends to show up when a Hispanic family walked by. "Shh! Mom, stop talking. Maybe they will think we can speak Spanish."

Haha...ha?

"What if I was a skeleton and I was brushing my teeth and my bottom teeth fell out. That would be so funny."

Sometimes I forget the words too.

"Eenie Meenie Miney Mo. Datcha bida-bida bo. Datcha bida, let him go. Eenie Meenie Miney Mo."

Dreams are weird.

"Mom, I had-ed a dream of three guys and they were the big guys and other guys were the little guys. And their names were Fyder, because he flied, Lieder, because she lies all the time, and Kadinder. He is one of the big ones."

Catchy Tunage

Songwriting in Batman pajamas, with Toys R Us guitar:

"Girrrrrlfriend....I don't want you. But girrrrrrrlfriend, I will want you later. And when I'm grown up, I will go to the beach and call my girrrrrlfriend. And go in my car wif my girrrrlfriend."

Let's start a petition to rename it.

"Mom, what planet do we live in?"
"Earth."
"No, Saturn!"
"Um, nope. We live on Earth these days."
"No. Saturn. Because it looks WAY awesomer. Erf is too pokey."
"I agree."

Not sure about the timing on this one...

"Mom! I have to tell you a secret!"

In my ear: "When I grow up, I'm gonna be your dad."

Balls Are People Too

"My ball was like 'No! No! No! I don't wanna go into the dark place! And then it was like 'Aaaaaaaaaaaah! DONK!"