"Mom!!" "What do u need, honey?" "Mom, in space, Mars is so far away from da sun. So Mars is so cold. So only Canadians could go dere. But Mars doesn't have any air. So only aliens could live dere."
"Mom, do you know how Santa Claus controls people?" "How?" "Wif his magic. Mom, don't you not want Santa Claus to control you?" "No, I don't." "Okay. So, say 'Dere's no way Santa Claus would control me." "There's no way Santa Claus would control me." "Haha. Mom! Santa Claus just controlled you to say dat!"
"What if instead of 'phttttttth!' my butt said, 'knock, knock! And somebody else said, 'Whose there?' and I said, 'I did not say that, it was my butt!"
“Pee is a kind of water that is yellow if you take vitamins, and if you don’t it’s just white. And pee is also a kind of water than when you touch it, it’s like…gross.”
"One, don't use too much paper. Two, don't fro trash on da floor. Five, just water da plants, don't kill dem. And seven, just be yerselfs. Dats all da ways. And you better tell all your friends how ta take care of da erf."
